How to be weightless in isolation....

You know it's bad when you walk outside and you don't recognize your own car...

That's what happened today. I went outside to take out the garbage and I looked out on the street and was like, "Hey, is THAT my car? Was it always shaped like THAT?" Nothing was damaged, but it has been so long since I have been in it that my brain had to dig deep in the data file to get it.

Things have gotten into the worn channel of apathy as to what is going on. I don't watch the news conferences and updates anymore. Most likely, that is because the numbers are going down, except for the same region of the town I am in. I can't figure out why, except for the fact that there are a bunch of nursing homes near here. Whatever. I am still not going out.

But things have been spinning towards activity, opportunities to get work done. A dear friend of mine called today and said there is an opportunity to make some money by making a 45 minute live video of solo acoustic guitar music for a nursing home. Okay, I'm game. It is going to take about 15 hours of work to do it right and edit it, but it sets me up to get things going forward. I am unmotivated by nature and need a commitment to get things done.

There's also an open mic on Facebook that I need to sign up for. An amazing friend of mine did it yesterday. You stream it live when they tell you that night and then they keep iron their site. It is ten minutes, so, why not?

It is supposed to be unseasonably warm here tomorrow which is going to be a lovely taunt from Nature. From the conversations I have over the past few days is making me realize that the spirits of many are growing weary and thin. While we are somewhat united here in this part of this state, the fact that the news is screaming how people in other parts of the country are not. All I will say is this: the virus is amoral, like all of nature. Personal beliefs have no standing in what it does. You decided to take a chance, you can get sick, and/or many others sick and possible die. Russian roulette may be a personal choice, but not when done with C4 or a machine gun.

I am blessed where I know what brings me joy and have the tools to make it real. When I was gathering these tools over the years, it was done with a different frame of mind. There was always the addiction of needing more gear, wanting more gear, getting better gear, postponing things because there was not enough time. Well, that's had to be stared down and disarmed because no bed is big enough and no sleep aid strong enough over the long term to have that reality within and around you. I already have stones upon my back from there things in my life, past and present.

I can make no excuses without living a lie. And if this situation has shown me anything, living a lie in isolation is a burden greater than I ever imagined and I long to be weightless.