Hi, sorry for not posting in a few days, but time is just not what it used to be....
I wanted to post something for Memorial Day, but it was so anti-climactic that I had no desire. The "beginning of the Summer Season", really? What does that mean these days? You don't hear the heat click on in the mornings? Past definitions no longer apply, and that is news to no one.
I just heard that there were ten deaths from the virus in the town yesterday. But, as Camus asks in "The Plague", what does that hold up against the number of deaths before all this? What were the opiate overdoses? What was the death rate in the hospital and nursing homes in the area? Also, that number is small compared to NYC (total today: 16,410) and the US (total today:over 102,000)? All deaths are a tragedy and the deaths from a pandemic have the added senselessness to it, but these numbers are just something so large and have been in our eyes so much, I don't think they resonate anymore.
Michigan Stadium (outdoor stadium) holds 107,601 people. We are closing in on that number fast. The character Dr. Rieux talks about how it is impossible to comprehend what a massive number of deaths is like. He try's to imagine a soccer stadium full of bodies but, after spinning that idea into different interpolations, he gives up and just decides such things are beyond comprehension. We just had an incident in Minneapolis yesterday that highlights one death. We really can't comprehend a singular death, so attempting any higher number is futile and a waste of time.
Someone said that "A crisis is a terrible thing to waste." That's true, to a point. This sort of suffering, unemployment, and death cannot have an equal counterweight. The best thing that can be done is that we learn everything we can about everything that is happening at hyper-speed. Yeas, I am well aware that we are all stuck at home and long to just, oh, I don't know, GO TO DINNER AT A RESTAURANT?!?! But this has made the formally barren desert of free time bloom onto an Amazon rainforest literally overnight. And one has the potential to learn about what is within themselves once habit is gone and can no longer be hidden behind.
Time may be relative, but never stops.
Friday, May 29, 2020
Thursday, May 21, 2020
Sleepwalking into the First Pseudo-Season...
We are headed into what may be the first ever theoretical Season of this pandemic:Pseudo-Summer, and I am clueless about what to make of it.
Tomorrow is the Friday before the official start of the Summer season, Labor Day. Normally, this is where you can feel the shift into the main part of the year with more sunlight, rising temperatures, and the drive that the season brings. But I am just not there. We coasted into this Spring with the psychological momentum of not knowing what was going on and still having a memory of our old lives and freedoms. It was March 19 and we were newly into this dark world. But here it is two months later, now worn and apathetic to the news.
I don't bother to watch the daily updates. I realize that this is because A) the numbers are going down and B) I know this is not ending anytime soon. I am slowly getting things in order to have a new digitally based creative life. I mean, the move had to be made anyway, but I saw it as riding sidecar to the real analogue life of Music and such. Now, not a chance. This is going to go on for some time and will most likely come back hard in the winter, so it is best to get ready now for the next dark time.
I went for a walk today and kept thinking about how no one I grew up around ever mentioned the Spanish Flu. I mean, I worked with guys from the WW2 era and there were many old grandmother-types at the church I went to. I heard tons of stories about the depression and WW2, but I cannot for the life of me remember a Spanish Flu story. The people would have had to have been at least 70 years old to have solid memories of that and I remember being around people that old, but still, not a trace of it.
Will we do that? Will we all just close off this part of our collective memory and never talk about this? It makes sense, no? Who the hell wants to remember a plague? But that makes no sense when one thinks about history. People always talk about the darker times at some point. I mean, even if it is mentioned that a relative died from the pandemic, it would come up. I even used to mow grass at a cemetery where there was a mass grave from the Spanish Flu and not a soul ever talked about it, EVER. I only found out about it during my last year working there via a fluke one season return to the job during a dark time of low employment.
Will we look at this time as some kind of collective fever dream? When we all are allowed to have our subconscious relax at the reality that death is not possible when we go outing give someone a hug, will it just erase these things when our amygdala is finally allowed to be out of crisis mode?
I can see how everyone will want to put this behind them. No movies about this. No TV dramas. Nothing. We want to see a creative work that deals with a fear we have not lived through. Life is easier that way and understandably so. We will only really understand the toll this has taken after we are able to get out there and see what we have been missing out on. Our perspectives are not normal these days and who the hell is going to want to be reminded of that?
But nature is amoral and cares nothing about what we do, and that is beautiful. Summer will be here during this crisis and be here when it is over. Will we be more appreciative of it? Of anything? If Camus is right, the answer is yes then no. Of course we will be amazingly joyous to go out again. But, no one can stay in a state of over-riding joy all the time. There will be the celebrations and then we will move on, having to repair the damage that was done by this thing. During that time, we will get lost in the day to day problems and place the past firmly in the rearview mirror. But that is human nature. That's how you rebuild a city after a war, how you get on after the death of someone you love. You keep walking and working and you somehow get distance between you and the immense feeling of pain. If you're lucky, you can get to the point where the memory of what once was will not knock you to your knees all the time, just sometimes. And you keep going because there is some beauty and reward in taking that next step, that next breath.
Personally, I never want to forget this pseudo-season because I want it to make all the seasons in freedom be the best I have ever known...or at least try to.
Tomorrow is the Friday before the official start of the Summer season, Labor Day. Normally, this is where you can feel the shift into the main part of the year with more sunlight, rising temperatures, and the drive that the season brings. But I am just not there. We coasted into this Spring with the psychological momentum of not knowing what was going on and still having a memory of our old lives and freedoms. It was March 19 and we were newly into this dark world. But here it is two months later, now worn and apathetic to the news.
I don't bother to watch the daily updates. I realize that this is because A) the numbers are going down and B) I know this is not ending anytime soon. I am slowly getting things in order to have a new digitally based creative life. I mean, the move had to be made anyway, but I saw it as riding sidecar to the real analogue life of Music and such. Now, not a chance. This is going to go on for some time and will most likely come back hard in the winter, so it is best to get ready now for the next dark time.
I went for a walk today and kept thinking about how no one I grew up around ever mentioned the Spanish Flu. I mean, I worked with guys from the WW2 era and there were many old grandmother-types at the church I went to. I heard tons of stories about the depression and WW2, but I cannot for the life of me remember a Spanish Flu story. The people would have had to have been at least 70 years old to have solid memories of that and I remember being around people that old, but still, not a trace of it.
Will we do that? Will we all just close off this part of our collective memory and never talk about this? It makes sense, no? Who the hell wants to remember a plague? But that makes no sense when one thinks about history. People always talk about the darker times at some point. I mean, even if it is mentioned that a relative died from the pandemic, it would come up. I even used to mow grass at a cemetery where there was a mass grave from the Spanish Flu and not a soul ever talked about it, EVER. I only found out about it during my last year working there via a fluke one season return to the job during a dark time of low employment.
Will we look at this time as some kind of collective fever dream? When we all are allowed to have our subconscious relax at the reality that death is not possible when we go outing give someone a hug, will it just erase these things when our amygdala is finally allowed to be out of crisis mode?
I can see how everyone will want to put this behind them. No movies about this. No TV dramas. Nothing. We want to see a creative work that deals with a fear we have not lived through. Life is easier that way and understandably so. We will only really understand the toll this has taken after we are able to get out there and see what we have been missing out on. Our perspectives are not normal these days and who the hell is going to want to be reminded of that?
But nature is amoral and cares nothing about what we do, and that is beautiful. Summer will be here during this crisis and be here when it is over. Will we be more appreciative of it? Of anything? If Camus is right, the answer is yes then no. Of course we will be amazingly joyous to go out again. But, no one can stay in a state of over-riding joy all the time. There will be the celebrations and then we will move on, having to repair the damage that was done by this thing. During that time, we will get lost in the day to day problems and place the past firmly in the rearview mirror. But that is human nature. That's how you rebuild a city after a war, how you get on after the death of someone you love. You keep walking and working and you somehow get distance between you and the immense feeling of pain. If you're lucky, you can get to the point where the memory of what once was will not knock you to your knees all the time, just sometimes. And you keep going because there is some beauty and reward in taking that next step, that next breath.
Personally, I never want to forget this pseudo-season because I want it to make all the seasons in freedom be the best I have ever known...or at least try to.
Tuesday, May 19, 2020
On the Momentum of Habit and Being/Tattoo You
To (sort of) quote the late, great, astounding, and wonderful genius scientist/philosopher Steven Toulmin, "If Plato, Aquinas, Freud, and the Jesuits have anything in common, it is that, well, how these things get started is how they go on for the entirety of one's existence."
What he was talking about was how one is raised is what one becomes. It is painfully difficult to try to see how the habits of all of us will be changed by all this. Look, we have had the bulk of our lives nurtured and formed within the social world. Maybe this time of having all families and children will have a good effect. Hey! I sincerely hope so! But it is for the rest of us, the one's who have had our corporeal reality and habits altered, that I wonder what in the living hell is going to happen?
I am banking hard on what I have seen through prior generations. I was a landscaper at a cemetery for 13 years. In the first half of that life, there was an old Polish man who worked part-time. He was a nice guy, but his English was not great. Still, I liked him and no one was against him. He just worked and spoke in broken English.
Years later, during my last year there (a decade long relapse that became both a Divine gift and joke), I found out that he was a Polish Catholic Holocaust survivor. I had vague memories of him telling me about dragging carts of bodies to an oven and screaming at officers, but he told me those stories ONCE a decade prior. There was no context. I found out that he had died after falling into dementia, with the memories of the Holocaust still burning him. That being said, he had lived through literal hell and, for years, I had no idea.
Perhaps we shall be silent about this time, just gloss it over with an, "Oh, yes, well, that WAS a time,..." and never speak about the darkness and uncertainty that was within these days. I am NOT saying this is anything close to the horrors of WW2 or otherwise! All I am saying is that I am curious to see how we will tell this tale of what will most likely be over one hundred thousand deaths within our country.
For the record, let me say this:
I sincerely wish that the old Polish man who was in the concentration camps told me everything that he ever felt and everything that ever happened. All I got to see was the horror of hell in his eyes one day during his very very very brief impromptu confession and it changed my life. He did nothing wrong except survive. In the end of his life, I was told by a relative, he was haunted by dreams and waking visions and fears of Nazis coming to kill him. perhaps if he had told his full story, the demons would have had no power against him.
May we have the grace, strength, and integrity to tell the absolute truth of all this. And we are barely in the beginning moments of this plague.
If you want to get a tattoo, get it now and get it for this.
What he was talking about was how one is raised is what one becomes. It is painfully difficult to try to see how the habits of all of us will be changed by all this. Look, we have had the bulk of our lives nurtured and formed within the social world. Maybe this time of having all families and children will have a good effect. Hey! I sincerely hope so! But it is for the rest of us, the one's who have had our corporeal reality and habits altered, that I wonder what in the living hell is going to happen?
I am banking hard on what I have seen through prior generations. I was a landscaper at a cemetery for 13 years. In the first half of that life, there was an old Polish man who worked part-time. He was a nice guy, but his English was not great. Still, I liked him and no one was against him. He just worked and spoke in broken English.
Years later, during my last year there (a decade long relapse that became both a Divine gift and joke), I found out that he was a Polish Catholic Holocaust survivor. I had vague memories of him telling me about dragging carts of bodies to an oven and screaming at officers, but he told me those stories ONCE a decade prior. There was no context. I found out that he had died after falling into dementia, with the memories of the Holocaust still burning him. That being said, he had lived through literal hell and, for years, I had no idea.
Perhaps we shall be silent about this time, just gloss it over with an, "Oh, yes, well, that WAS a time,..." and never speak about the darkness and uncertainty that was within these days. I am NOT saying this is anything close to the horrors of WW2 or otherwise! All I am saying is that I am curious to see how we will tell this tale of what will most likely be over one hundred thousand deaths within our country.
For the record, let me say this:
I sincerely wish that the old Polish man who was in the concentration camps told me everything that he ever felt and everything that ever happened. All I got to see was the horror of hell in his eyes one day during his very very very brief impromptu confession and it changed my life. He did nothing wrong except survive. In the end of his life, I was told by a relative, he was haunted by dreams and waking visions and fears of Nazis coming to kill him. perhaps if he had told his full story, the demons would have had no power against him.
May we have the grace, strength, and integrity to tell the absolute truth of all this. And we are barely in the beginning moments of this plague.
If you want to get a tattoo, get it now and get it for this.
Thursday, May 14, 2020
How to be weightless in isolation....
You know it's bad when you walk outside and you don't recognize your own car...
That's what happened today. I went outside to take out the garbage and I looked out on the street and was like, "Hey, is THAT my car? Was it always shaped like THAT?" Nothing was damaged, but it has been so long since I have been in it that my brain had to dig deep in the data file to get it.
Things have gotten into the worn channel of apathy as to what is going on. I don't watch the news conferences and updates anymore. Most likely, that is because the numbers are going down, except for the same region of the town I am in. I can't figure out why, except for the fact that there are a bunch of nursing homes near here. Whatever. I am still not going out.
But things have been spinning towards activity, opportunities to get work done. A dear friend of mine called today and said there is an opportunity to make some money by making a 45 minute live video of solo acoustic guitar music for a nursing home. Okay, I'm game. It is going to take about 15 hours of work to do it right and edit it, but it sets me up to get things going forward. I am unmotivated by nature and need a commitment to get things done.
There's also an open mic on Facebook that I need to sign up for. An amazing friend of mine did it yesterday. You stream it live when they tell you that night and then they keep iron their site. It is ten minutes, so, why not?
It is supposed to be unseasonably warm here tomorrow which is going to be a lovely taunt from Nature. From the conversations I have over the past few days is making me realize that the spirits of many are growing weary and thin. While we are somewhat united here in this part of this state, the fact that the news is screaming how people in other parts of the country are not. All I will say is this: the virus is amoral, like all of nature. Personal beliefs have no standing in what it does. You decided to take a chance, you can get sick, and/or many others sick and possible die. Russian roulette may be a personal choice, but not when done with C4 or a machine gun.
I am blessed where I know what brings me joy and have the tools to make it real. When I was gathering these tools over the years, it was done with a different frame of mind. There was always the addiction of needing more gear, wanting more gear, getting better gear, postponing things because there was not enough time. Well, that's had to be stared down and disarmed because no bed is big enough and no sleep aid strong enough over the long term to have that reality within and around you. I already have stones upon my back from there things in my life, past and present.
I can make no excuses without living a lie. And if this situation has shown me anything, living a lie in isolation is a burden greater than I ever imagined and I long to be weightless.
That's what happened today. I went outside to take out the garbage and I looked out on the street and was like, "Hey, is THAT my car? Was it always shaped like THAT?" Nothing was damaged, but it has been so long since I have been in it that my brain had to dig deep in the data file to get it.
Things have gotten into the worn channel of apathy as to what is going on. I don't watch the news conferences and updates anymore. Most likely, that is because the numbers are going down, except for the same region of the town I am in. I can't figure out why, except for the fact that there are a bunch of nursing homes near here. Whatever. I am still not going out.
But things have been spinning towards activity, opportunities to get work done. A dear friend of mine called today and said there is an opportunity to make some money by making a 45 minute live video of solo acoustic guitar music for a nursing home. Okay, I'm game. It is going to take about 15 hours of work to do it right and edit it, but it sets me up to get things going forward. I am unmotivated by nature and need a commitment to get things done.
There's also an open mic on Facebook that I need to sign up for. An amazing friend of mine did it yesterday. You stream it live when they tell you that night and then they keep iron their site. It is ten minutes, so, why not?
It is supposed to be unseasonably warm here tomorrow which is going to be a lovely taunt from Nature. From the conversations I have over the past few days is making me realize that the spirits of many are growing weary and thin. While we are somewhat united here in this part of this state, the fact that the news is screaming how people in other parts of the country are not. All I will say is this: the virus is amoral, like all of nature. Personal beliefs have no standing in what it does. You decided to take a chance, you can get sick, and/or many others sick and possible die. Russian roulette may be a personal choice, but not when done with C4 or a machine gun.
I am blessed where I know what brings me joy and have the tools to make it real. When I was gathering these tools over the years, it was done with a different frame of mind. There was always the addiction of needing more gear, wanting more gear, getting better gear, postponing things because there was not enough time. Well, that's had to be stared down and disarmed because no bed is big enough and no sleep aid strong enough over the long term to have that reality within and around you. I already have stones upon my back from there things in my life, past and present.
I can make no excuses without living a lie. And if this situation has shown me anything, living a lie in isolation is a burden greater than I ever imagined and I long to be weightless.
Tuesday, May 12, 2020
The Waiting Room, the new reality.
We are in the first moments when one is in an emergency room, all that matters is if we live or die, while the question of what the cost will be is a dark shadow that is forever present upon us while suspend in that anti-time.
That is a re-phrasing of what a guitar player said on a video that I saw today. He nailed it. He said it seems to him (and now myself) that it is the same as being in an emergency room. You are there and are wondering what the hell is going to happen. You wonder about life and death and, because this is America in 2020, your imagination grows into a demon and you wonder what the hell all this is going to cost in terms of money. It make be an amount you can handle. It may bankrupt you. It may bankrupt you only to have the worst things happen. The thread of existence appears right there in front of you, shining within the light of those florescent lights in such a way you are aghast at how thin and fragile it actually is. And you just hope it all works out.
I have been there way too many times with people I loved to understand this analogy, and that's why it hit home. We are all in an ER waiting room. No one knows what the hell is really going to happen next. We are within a space that we have visited before but are now living in. And we have no idea what this is going to be like, nor the full cost, for some time to come.
I spoke to a dear friend of mine who is a literal award winning doctor, with bonus points being that he is actually a very very very caring person and spends a great deal of time with each patient. He said that he is deeply concerned after reading the literature about the virus. He hopes that things will turn out without a deep dive into mass death, but he is taking this seriously and taking precautions. If I want to know about music production, I call my friend who worked with The Rolling Stones and Bette Midler. If I want to know about dance, I call my friend who toured the world and danced at the Oscars. If I want to know about what the hell is going on with a virus, I call an award winning doctor. For the record, I am not bragging about knowing this cache of impossibly talented people. I am not special. I am just a low rent "Zelig". (Go look it up.)
From what I remember from being in a waiting room, it feels like being in a cosmos of panic stricken casinos. No one really knows what is going on and what the end result will be. Sure, a few come in with nothing ore than a cut needing stitches or a broken arm to be set and cast, but, think about it. There are many many many stories about people who go in for one small thing and find out they have something much more serious. Hence, the casino. Hence, the odds on either side of Fate. Hence, the continual low grade panic.
I am forever grateful for this damn cool guitar review guy on Youtube for giving me this thread of sanity.
We are in the Waiting Room.
PS: Keep the comments coming.....
That is a re-phrasing of what a guitar player said on a video that I saw today. He nailed it. He said it seems to him (and now myself) that it is the same as being in an emergency room. You are there and are wondering what the hell is going to happen. You wonder about life and death and, because this is America in 2020, your imagination grows into a demon and you wonder what the hell all this is going to cost in terms of money. It make be an amount you can handle. It may bankrupt you. It may bankrupt you only to have the worst things happen. The thread of existence appears right there in front of you, shining within the light of those florescent lights in such a way you are aghast at how thin and fragile it actually is. And you just hope it all works out.
I have been there way too many times with people I loved to understand this analogy, and that's why it hit home. We are all in an ER waiting room. No one knows what the hell is really going to happen next. We are within a space that we have visited before but are now living in. And we have no idea what this is going to be like, nor the full cost, for some time to come.
I spoke to a dear friend of mine who is a literal award winning doctor, with bonus points being that he is actually a very very very caring person and spends a great deal of time with each patient. He said that he is deeply concerned after reading the literature about the virus. He hopes that things will turn out without a deep dive into mass death, but he is taking this seriously and taking precautions. If I want to know about music production, I call my friend who worked with The Rolling Stones and Bette Midler. If I want to know about dance, I call my friend who toured the world and danced at the Oscars. If I want to know about what the hell is going on with a virus, I call an award winning doctor. For the record, I am not bragging about knowing this cache of impossibly talented people. I am not special. I am just a low rent "Zelig". (Go look it up.)
From what I remember from being in a waiting room, it feels like being in a cosmos of panic stricken casinos. No one really knows what is going on and what the end result will be. Sure, a few come in with nothing ore than a cut needing stitches or a broken arm to be set and cast, but, think about it. There are many many many stories about people who go in for one small thing and find out they have something much more serious. Hence, the casino. Hence, the odds on either side of Fate. Hence, the continual low grade panic.
I am forever grateful for this damn cool guitar review guy on Youtube for giving me this thread of sanity.
We are in the Waiting Room.
PS: Keep the comments coming.....
Friday, May 8, 2020
Well, we will have the Lost Season...at best.
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit, but they have extended the lock down for an extra two weeks and that was, while expected, a gut punch.
So, it is a Friday night and it is raining. Normally this would be great, a cooling down at the end of the week and the sound of rain in the cool May night. But not now. No. The lockdown has been extended and all schools have been deleted for the school year. Look, I get it, I really do, and I know that it's needed and I am in no way surprised. But, for whatever reason, that announcement just gut punched me and made me depressed.
Thankfully, things are cooling down in New York and New Jersey, with the death counts and infections sliding downward. I have always kept in mind that the odds of getting the virus are low and if you go out with a face mask and gloves, the odds are in your favor. But to be slammed up against the wall of news for months where the numbers in my town and all over are going up, it shows how much you want to tempt your luck.
The states that are not on the coasts are not taking this as seriously as we have chosen to do and I am watching the numbers in those states rise. If the behavior keeps up, amoral biology will do what it does and people will get the virus. And let me talk about that for a second, may I?
All over the place I am hearing the strangest thing about this virus. From medical people on the front lines, I have heard that there are two strains of the harsh version of this thing: one that goes for the lungs and another that goes for other organs as well...AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHY! There is a mutating pandemic and they really are clueless as to what the hell is going on.
But I am not playing the blame game here. Not a chance. I grew up in a home with a father in the medical field and I understand the unknown factors of medicine. But I am literally dumbstruck that people as a whole are not realizing that we are no better than people in ages past who now seem silly or stupid because they did not know how to cure things we can do with a few pills and/or a painless sterile operation. We are grasping at straws like the Middle Ages. Yes, fine, you are welcomed to remind me that we can actually take a picture of the virus. Okay. But, even with all this amazing technology, we are guessing, trying our best with solutions we will most likely make us all look foolish even a few years from now.
The rain outside is still falling, but it will end at some point,
Let's go with that....
So, it is a Friday night and it is raining. Normally this would be great, a cooling down at the end of the week and the sound of rain in the cool May night. But not now. No. The lockdown has been extended and all schools have been deleted for the school year. Look, I get it, I really do, and I know that it's needed and I am in no way surprised. But, for whatever reason, that announcement just gut punched me and made me depressed.
Thankfully, things are cooling down in New York and New Jersey, with the death counts and infections sliding downward. I have always kept in mind that the odds of getting the virus are low and if you go out with a face mask and gloves, the odds are in your favor. But to be slammed up against the wall of news for months where the numbers in my town and all over are going up, it shows how much you want to tempt your luck.
The states that are not on the coasts are not taking this as seriously as we have chosen to do and I am watching the numbers in those states rise. If the behavior keeps up, amoral biology will do what it does and people will get the virus. And let me talk about that for a second, may I?
All over the place I am hearing the strangest thing about this virus. From medical people on the front lines, I have heard that there are two strains of the harsh version of this thing: one that goes for the lungs and another that goes for other organs as well...AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHY! There is a mutating pandemic and they really are clueless as to what the hell is going on.
But I am not playing the blame game here. Not a chance. I grew up in a home with a father in the medical field and I understand the unknown factors of medicine. But I am literally dumbstruck that people as a whole are not realizing that we are no better than people in ages past who now seem silly or stupid because they did not know how to cure things we can do with a few pills and/or a painless sterile operation. We are grasping at straws like the Middle Ages. Yes, fine, you are welcomed to remind me that we can actually take a picture of the virus. Okay. But, even with all this amazing technology, we are guessing, trying our best with solutions we will most likely make us all look foolish even a few years from now.
The rain outside is still falling, but it will end at some point,
Let's go with that....
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
Into the Great Whatever...The 30 Day Return Policy
Last night, before I went to bed, I looked out of the window at the rain soaked streets with such longing, I felt like I was a character in a 1980's teenage romance movie looking at the girl of my crush going to the prom with someone else. This can't be good...
Today was an exceptionally beautiful day outside and all I could do was go out and get something from the car and take out the trash. There were tons of people going parks in New Jersey, not to mention people getting out all over the country. But, isn't this like gambling with you and everyone else in the game? Again, I am here is New Jersey and NYC had an uptick in deaths recently after dropping. The idea of being somewhere as big as Arizona with massive amounts of space everywhere seems amazing right now.
I've been thinking about the whole thirty day return policy stores seem to have. That also applies to doing any new habit. If you can do it for that amount of time, you just keep doing it. We have been in this new space for almost two months and we are looking at a full season inside this internal exile. The voices the scream, "We must be apart for the betterment of all!!!" ring out here on the East Coast with good reason and (hopefully) good will. But, we are country, not fifty islands.
This is about biology and not rhetoric. Everyone can talk a good game until their hospitals are over flowing and funerals are turned into lame kabuki-parodies of all that once was before all this came in without welcome. I am very very very aware from personal experience about the deep genetic need for ritualistic closer following death. When the funeral ritual starts getting edited for safety, you know things have crashed the barricade into the unknown and unwanted. This is the way it is here on the East Coast of America. I doubt the central states where all this is headed will bow kindly to the gravity of self-preservation collapsing ritual, memory, and desire.
Can we at least all agree that, in the end, outside of parents for their children and the sacred few romantics who are not married or parents, it is every human for themselves? This is NOT a bad thing within the Bell Curve, so hold off on the anger and hatred towards the greatness of humanity!
We are now, believe it or not, showing out best selves! We are staying at home. We are NOT going out. We ARE shining out from the abyss with a great determination and hope....and caring. Seriously. At least for now, here, within the first season of the 21st Century Plague. We, as a collective, for the most part, acted upon out best selves....for the most part.
We passed the thirty day return policy and didn't refund our best selves.....for now.
Today was an exceptionally beautiful day outside and all I could do was go out and get something from the car and take out the trash. There were tons of people going parks in New Jersey, not to mention people getting out all over the country. But, isn't this like gambling with you and everyone else in the game? Again, I am here is New Jersey and NYC had an uptick in deaths recently after dropping. The idea of being somewhere as big as Arizona with massive amounts of space everywhere seems amazing right now.
I've been thinking about the whole thirty day return policy stores seem to have. That also applies to doing any new habit. If you can do it for that amount of time, you just keep doing it. We have been in this new space for almost two months and we are looking at a full season inside this internal exile. The voices the scream, "We must be apart for the betterment of all!!!" ring out here on the East Coast with good reason and (hopefully) good will. But, we are country, not fifty islands.
This is about biology and not rhetoric. Everyone can talk a good game until their hospitals are over flowing and funerals are turned into lame kabuki-parodies of all that once was before all this came in without welcome. I am very very very aware from personal experience about the deep genetic need for ritualistic closer following death. When the funeral ritual starts getting edited for safety, you know things have crashed the barricade into the unknown and unwanted. This is the way it is here on the East Coast of America. I doubt the central states where all this is headed will bow kindly to the gravity of self-preservation collapsing ritual, memory, and desire.
Can we at least all agree that, in the end, outside of parents for their children and the sacred few romantics who are not married or parents, it is every human for themselves? This is NOT a bad thing within the Bell Curve, so hold off on the anger and hatred towards the greatness of humanity!
We are now, believe it or not, showing out best selves! We are staying at home. We are NOT going out. We ARE shining out from the abyss with a great determination and hope....and caring. Seriously. At least for now, here, within the first season of the 21st Century Plague. We, as a collective, for the most part, acted upon out best selves....for the most part.
We passed the thirty day return policy and didn't refund our best selves.....for now.
Sunday, May 3, 2020
No End In Sight...Now It Begins
There was just a press conference with the governor and he said, "Social distancing shall remain in place until further notice."
As I expected, this is now going into the next phase, the place where there is no definitive way out. Even NYC has CANCELLED its Democratic Primary in June. This is new territory. If New Jersey is locked down then NYC is going to be locked down. And NYC locked down in the Summer does not bode well on many levels. Not to mention the economy is going to get wrecked. And, fun fact, Autumn follows Summer, so, when the temperature dips, we are all going to go through this again.
It is hard to be upbeat right now. I wasn't planning on leaving the house tomorrow to go to the gym again, but I was hoping for some time where I could hang my hopes. But perhaps that is the case, no date was given so no implosion could happen when the date hit and had to be cancelled. Regardless, it is still rough.
The more we go through this, the more it will seem like the norm to some and others will rise up and rebel. I get it, I really do. This is just not a life we have ever had to try to live before. Digital technology has made us able to communicate with each other so I guess that is one win for technology. But, in the end, there is going to be a longing and need for flesh upon flesh, and I don't just mean that in a sexual way. The hugging of close friends, the seating across from each other at restaurants and sports events, hell, even just food shopping!!!!! It has bee said that dogs are having the time of their life with their owners being home all the time, but there will be severe separation anxiety when this is over.
And that is the question: when will this be over? There is talk about calling this thing "a War" and that we will come out of it better, like London after The Blitz in WW2 or America after the same war. But doesn't all that hinge on the victors writing the history? Or having another part of humanity be the loser in the battle? The Spanish Flu of 1918 lasted from the Spring of 1918 till the Spring/Summer of 1919 in waves with WW1 ending in November of 1918. The Roaring 20's came along right after that double barreled horror, so maybe it will work out?
But, there were debt bubbles brewing in the personal and corporate world since the crash of 2008 due to all the free money that was out there. To put it simply, corporations and businesses went into debt thinking that the good times would continue, while the regular populace was struggling and racking up major credit card, car loans, and buying houses at a large rate....AGAIN. So, with the economy having not hit the STOP button and people not getting income (and states not getting nearly the amount of tax revenue that they had expected), this all looks to get messy.
While there is no end in sight, that doesn't mean that time doesn't keep going and we are going to have to deal with it, like it or not.
As I expected, this is now going into the next phase, the place where there is no definitive way out. Even NYC has CANCELLED its Democratic Primary in June. This is new territory. If New Jersey is locked down then NYC is going to be locked down. And NYC locked down in the Summer does not bode well on many levels. Not to mention the economy is going to get wrecked. And, fun fact, Autumn follows Summer, so, when the temperature dips, we are all going to go through this again.
It is hard to be upbeat right now. I wasn't planning on leaving the house tomorrow to go to the gym again, but I was hoping for some time where I could hang my hopes. But perhaps that is the case, no date was given so no implosion could happen when the date hit and had to be cancelled. Regardless, it is still rough.
The more we go through this, the more it will seem like the norm to some and others will rise up and rebel. I get it, I really do. This is just not a life we have ever had to try to live before. Digital technology has made us able to communicate with each other so I guess that is one win for technology. But, in the end, there is going to be a longing and need for flesh upon flesh, and I don't just mean that in a sexual way. The hugging of close friends, the seating across from each other at restaurants and sports events, hell, even just food shopping!!!!! It has bee said that dogs are having the time of their life with their owners being home all the time, but there will be severe separation anxiety when this is over.
And that is the question: when will this be over? There is talk about calling this thing "a War" and that we will come out of it better, like London after The Blitz in WW2 or America after the same war. But doesn't all that hinge on the victors writing the history? Or having another part of humanity be the loser in the battle? The Spanish Flu of 1918 lasted from the Spring of 1918 till the Spring/Summer of 1919 in waves with WW1 ending in November of 1918. The Roaring 20's came along right after that double barreled horror, so maybe it will work out?
But, there were debt bubbles brewing in the personal and corporate world since the crash of 2008 due to all the free money that was out there. To put it simply, corporations and businesses went into debt thinking that the good times would continue, while the regular populace was struggling and racking up major credit card, car loans, and buying houses at a large rate....AGAIN. So, with the economy having not hit the STOP button and people not getting income (and states not getting nearly the amount of tax revenue that they had expected), this all looks to get messy.
While there is no end in sight, that doesn't mean that time doesn't keep going and we are going to have to deal with it, like it or not.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)